If I were a Christian, I'd definitely be a Catholic.
They have the coolest Christian-arc I've read about. And they drink.
I was at the one and only Catholic service I've been to in my short 24 years and was asked/forced to stand in line. When I reached the front of the line, I was instructed by an old man to open my mouth.
This should have been the warning sign.
He laid a rectangular, or was it trapezoidal, or star shaped...? He laid a cracker on my tongue. I suppose he could tell I was starving and asked that I not chew it. I get a shot glass of wine and follow the crowd back to my seat. The priest rambles on about Jesus and that he is now in my mouth. I am holding Jesus in my mouth! What the HELL kind of bass ackwards shit is this?
You want me to just hold Jesus in my mouth, right? I can't do a thing to this dry, salty bitch and now that it's been five minutes, it's gone soft! Jesus is officially SOFT IN MY MOUTH. And I'm not even allowed to swallow!
Maybe they should pass out the wine first....
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Religious Assault!
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3 comments:
Try having Jesus and all of the clergy in your mouth. My experience of being an altar boy for one mass, is something that I will unfortunately always remember.
Are we in the same therapy group for adults who were abused by the Catholic religion?... did I just divulge my own secret....?
Maybe, does your group meet on thursdays.
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