Sunday, April 12, 2009

jesus christ!

So, here we are. Easter Sunday. The day Jesus was risen from .. wherever the hell he was.. after being crucified by the Romans for being a heretic. There was blood, grief, man-panties and a dramatic sunset. Probably a few crows and vulchers. Just guessing.

Somehow that translates to baby bunnies, chics, lambs, colored eggs and pastel decorations. Wait, what?

Ostara is the pagan celebration of the renewed fertility of the earth. The halfway point between the beginning of the year (Samhain/Halloween) and the next year. This was celebrated with bright, "spring" colors, decorating eggs and using baby animals as a sign of birth and renewal to example the earth's birth and renewal after a cold winter.

Tell a Christian this and if they were your friend, they probably aren't after you explain it. Goddamn ignorant sons of bitches... YES, early Christians stole pagan/Wiccan holidays and implemented their own ideas and beliefs of their god into them. Hence, how we go from Jesus dying on a cross after being tortured for hours to fluffy rabbits and candy!
SOME ONE explain to me how the Christians can continue to celebrate the day their god was risen from the dead and let their children go on egg hunts on the same day! Can they also tell me where the ideas for such things came about?? Did JESUS decree that because he was risen, we should celebrate with baby animals and eating hardboiled eggs in THANKS? OH GEE! Thank you, Jesus, for dying for my sins, though I never really had any until your followers decreed I had any. This basket of Cadbury eggs is for you!

And I'm going to eat them, slowly, pretending they're your followers.

6 comments:

Guillerma de la Varner said...

this sounds very familiar.

Organic Meatbag said...

Easter only has high regards in my mind because of Reese's eggs... I stockpile them, eat the hell out of them, groan and moan because I ate too many, curse my ballooning stomach, and then comes the "exodus of the bowels"... I tried to explain this in the 3rd grade and they made me sit in the coat room for the rest of the year...

cary said...

Robin Williams said a few lines about the correlation between egg hunting, chocolate rabbits and Jesus. He didn't get into the reasons behind why they don't have any real relationship to one another.

It's another pet peeve of mine; the theft of pagan tradition being raped and manipulated to fit the needs of Christianity.

Meatbag, I hope you have really soft toilet paper.

Organic Meatbag said...

My TP is actually an old bartender's rag caked in sand...is that bad?

Sarasaurus Rex said...

LOL, didn't you see that South Park episode? St. Peter was really a rabbit ;-)

Cole Buzan said...

LOL!!!!

I served Rabbit Stew.

You would have loved it.